Xx 烦 xXMy Industrial Attachement with Sulzer Chemtech is officially scheduled to end tomorrow, but I opted (or rather offered) to extend for another 3 weeks, right before CPTC starts. Anyway, there are a few reasons why I chose to extend my stay.
Firstly, I probably would waste my day away at home. Might as well have something to do. Secondly, the people there are really nice to work with. Thirdly, I get paid (more). =) Finally, some reasons which I will not disclose, but you don't have to know either way. Ha.
Anyway, was beginning to ponder if I made the right decision to extend.
Working there for 6 months, to tell you that I don't feel any sort of attachment to my team would be downright lying. I always thought my team was a cohesive one. Until yesterday, I realized that this might very well not be true. It really upsets me to see (or more often, hear) arguments between the 2 major parties. As a neutral observer (caught between the *possibly one-sided* crossfire), I get to hear things that aren't put directly through to the other party (for certain specific reasons). I care about both sides, and I don't want things to degrade even further than it already is. I want to help, but I don't know if I will make things worse. This matter has been floating around in my head yesterday and I just got reminded of it a few hours ago. The more I learn, the more troubled I get. Yet I still want to help. This cheese has too many holes to plug, if I may put it this way.
Second thing is, I really feel inferior to someone else. I thought, maybe if I were more friendly to everyone, I'd leave behind a better impression. Take this analogy, picture yourself, slapping a wall as hard as you can, hoping you'd at least peel some of the paint off. You smack it with all your might. You hurt, but the wall remains the same (maybe even mocking you if it was sentient). People jumped at the chance of inviting him to the company DnD. Even that particular somebody whom I thought thought well of me. What about me, you ask? I think I was just a fly on the wall.
There. I spilled out (some of) my thoughts. I wouldn't even be mildy surprised if some things don't turn out the way I'd very much like it to.
Goodbye, fucking cruel world.
// Citizen Erased @ 6:01 PM
