Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Linkin Park - Meteora
Linkin Park - Projekt Revolution
Linkin Park - Reanimation
Linkin Park - Minutes To Midnight
Good Charlotte - The Chronicles Of Life & Death
Good Charlotte - Good Morning Revival
Matchbox Twenty - Yourself Or Someone Like You
Funeral For A Friend - Tales Don't Tell Themselves
Funeral For A Friend - Hours
Funeral For A Friend - Casually Dressed and Deep in Conversation
+ Select songs from Muse, Yellowcard, Evanescence, Savage Garden, Blah blah blah, etc., etc.
With the recent leaving (I don't mean death) of a friend, albeit a relatively short time frame of interaction, it dawned upon me the inappreciable amount of her presence she has left behind. Is this really what she deserves? Is this the treatment the subsequent ones should receive?
Perhaps I'm just too selfish or sympathetic, but I really don't feel it's right. The reason for the card was for everyone to pen their thoughts down, at least there's something to remember from. I would've sent it with only my writings if I had forseen this. Granted, time is a constraint. Flashy and intricate memorabilia are probably way out of the question. But, what's a sole present going to do? How much of a person can you remember from a gift?
Spending time on the roof has given me some space for thoughts. Should I even try so hard? Why am I placing myself next to him? Is this my innate nature or was I brought up this way? The thought of me liking my work for the reason that my presence was appreciated are simply delusions and naivety on my part. I'm just someone that's replaced every six months. Existance hardly imprinted except on several quotations or such.
Dyna knew what was going through my head just from that single line I said to her on the roof tonight. Hearing comments such as "You should learn ...", "Wah, ...'s work (Followed by some positive comment here)" is analogous to having your heart sucked to the bottom of your stomach (though I haven't actually physically experienced that).
I don't want to fall too hard on my knees when my time is nigh. I don't want to kick up a big sandstorm either. I guess it's time to back off and disconnect a little.
